Turing Test THIS!!: Now Your Home for Sporting News

…and the news in this case is that I have discovered the sport known as racquetball. On the off chance that some of you out there might also like to try a new sport, I will describe what I find to be particularly appealing about racquetball. Steve and Red will tell you it’s no Defender, but racquetball has a special charm all its own. Perhaps the appeal comes from being able to hit a ball extremely hard without having to run very far to fetch it. Maybe it’s the thrill of trying to keep up with the crazy ricocheting projectile as its ridiculous bounciness propels it from wall to wall to wall to floor to racquet to ceiling (I’m having some problems with that one) to wall, etc. that makes it so exciting. In any case, I am now hooked.

Which poses something of a problem here. There are a limited number (i.e. two) of racquetball courts at the local rec center, so they tend to fill up quickly. Reservations must generally be made ahead of time, making it more difficult to fulfill one’s need for blazing bouncing blue speed.

But if reserve I must, then reserve I shall. I now plan to use racquetball as part of my ninja training regimen, since it is clearly good for improving one’s speed, reflexes, coordination, and projectile path extrapolation skills. I recommend racquetball highly to anyone who is seeking Real Ultimate Power, or even just Pretty Nifty Skills (although I am fairly certain this is not why my father plays).

I’m also not entirely sure I have the rules entirely figured out. Eh… I’ll get to that later.